we all move forward when
we recognize how resilient
and striking the women
around us are
- the sun and her flowers, rupi kaur
Okay, so women are moving up in the world and are beginning to enter spaces we were never allowed in before - there's no denying that. But what's the point of inviting someone in, if you aren't willing to make them feel welcome? Dressing for yourself in the workplace should be appropriate for the space and feel comfortable, but should simultaneously feel empowering. The patriarchal workplace today however, still polices, scrutinises, or harasses women's wear in the workplace. But how to determine what is appropriate is tricky.
The problem with appropriacy is that it can be subjective, and it changes from space to space. But if men are still dominating the spaces and making the rules, then when will women ever be able to decide what is comfortable and acceptable for themselves? And although yes, women have moved forward and yay, hoorah, we have a female African president, and president Zwede has pledged her commitment towards gender quality in Ethiopia, and we're legalisng same sex marriage and sexual identities in more African countries; women (including all those who identify as women) in the workplace are still being restricted in unnecessary ways. Beyond pay and promotional barriers, women are still policed in their most intimate areas, and are scrutinized for even the underwear they're wearing - or choosing not to wear.
Chene Schoeman, resident feminist designer, had a run in with this on her search for jobs as she completes her final year of Design here at Rhodes University. Upon preparing for a Skype interview on a hot day (not that it matters) her boyfriend asked her to put a bra on for the sake of 'respect to the interviewees and for the look of professionalism.' Okay, so having boobs is disrespectful and unprofessional? Well, all I ask, is please don't scratch your balls before you shake my hand.
"If you ask me to wear a bra, you better believe I'm getting my titties out," Chene says fiercely.
Jack loves to make Chene feel sexy, but he admits that it obviously turns him on when she's in a lacey bralette, or when she's not wearing a bra and he gets to see her naturally all day. The couple how times are evolving and how social media helps all the things intersect as we share with the world. A lover of fine things, Jack entered an Instagram competition with Jockey and won a lingerie package for himself and Chene. He entered one day, won the next week, and received a package in Grahamstown two weeks later. "In reality, in pictures, or even on social media; wherever I am, I want to feel sexy for myself. Trust me, I'm not shaving or wearing this bra for Jack. It feels so good on me, and when it doesn't, I'll take it off. I hate to end the day with sore shoulders and a tender back because my bra was digging into me all day. If I don't get a job because I didn't wear a bra, then I don't want that job anyway."
Under or over, whatever is closest to your skin should always make you feel good.
As for Palesa Mkhize, a fourth year Design student at Rhodes University, boobs have always played a big role in her life - literally. She's always known that her race intersects with her body and her culture affects the way she displays her body. Palesa started freeing the nipple towards the end of 2017 and has been flaunting her little babies more freely this year, but still feels self-conscious about it because her issue is a little bit bigger than Chene's. If you ask Paelsa, she'll tell you that, "sure, they're bringing a lot of the thirsty boys to the yard, but sometimes they're not welcome there."
Despite the unwanted stares, Palesa still goes everywhere without a bra. “I didn’t create my own body, and I don’t have the money to buy another one so I may as well start loving and accepting it. As with anything, representation is key, so the more your body type is represented in the media, the more you feel it is acceptable to flaunt it and the less you need validation from the next person,” explained Mkhize. “Being a Zulu girl, it’s a thing to show your boobs. It's part of the culture and we celebrate womanhood because they’re just boobs being normal in their natural, un-bothered state [only thing they bother is my back]. But still, some people are bothered by them.”
It can't be a coincidence that I've been quoting the sun and her flowers, while Palesa has been inspired by the 'SLUMFLOWER.' It just proves yet again that we're always adapting and growing from one thing to another; creating and recreating culture and aesthetics. Ever heard of the saggy boobs movement? No? Well, now you have. Chidere Egguere, aka the Slumflower, started the hashtag #saggyboobsmatter to feel confident about her naked and boobs and make other girls with 'saggy' boobs feel sexy too.
So while 2017 and 2018 celebrated itty bitty titties, it also made space for boobs of all shapes and sizes. The number of padded bra sales all over the world have flattened in recent years, while sales of bralettes increased by 123% according to an Edited report this year. Why is this happening though? We can thank good old advertising for that. Described as 'gentle' and designed to be worn to 'feel sexy and comfortable', conusmers become vulnerable to marketing materials in the language of self-love, so we fall for it and fall in love with it. But marketing shmarketing! I'm here for all the women out their with bra lines after a long day, or an itchy red mark from that crusty bra wire, or the aching back from the too-tight straps.
Whatever you wear, let it be what you choose yourself because it's actually none of my business anyway. The fact is, rules are rules and people will always have their own opinion but at the end of the day, and throughout the entire day, the fabric kept closest to your skin should make you feel good about yourself.
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